Episode 1: Ben & Erin

May 28, 2018 | 37 minutes

Our inaugural episode features two of our friends, Erin & Ben. Erin & Ben have been together for over 9 years. In that time, they've traversed an ocean, idiomatic differences, and debates about potato ricers before moving to San Francisco, where they bought a home and had their first baby. Along the way, they've settled on a system that allows them to balance individual purchases against shared expenses. Tune in as we discuss how they found a groove with their finances.

"When I met Ben I really liked him and it was really important for me to invest in that love that I felt and the potential that was there. And I thought that the transparency and honesty was the most important way to do that. So even though sometimes it was kind of hard or embarrassing or painful, I thought that was the most important investment I could make in our relationship.” - Erin

Transcript

{INTRODUCTION}

{00:00:00.45}

Aditi: Hey guys you're listening to the Money Date podcast, a podcast that my husband and I launched to help young couples get real about their money.

Dalmar: That's right. We'll ask our friends and a few strangers all the uncomfortable and awkward questions about how they handle their money.

Aditi: All the gory details and hopefully a few tips and tricks along the way. Think you can pick up and use in your own relationship.

{INTRO MUSIC}

{00:00:23.55}

Dalmar: On today's podcast we have Erin and Ben, who've been together for nine years. Hi, I'm Dalmar and I'm Aditi. And we're your hosts. Erin and Ben: welcome to the show.

{INTERVIEW}

{00:00:35.55}

Dalmar: So, we were talking a bit earlier about baskets. The difference between picnic baskets and laundry baskets.

Combination of people speaking all at the same time: Hampers. Hampers, hamper, a picnic hamper and laundry basket.

Dalmar: That's it. And what's the difference?

Erin: You mean a laundry hamper?

Ben: No.

Dalmar: What would you call a hamper Ben?

Ben: Hamper to me evokes the picture of someone sitting on a grassy field with a checkered blanket opening like, a wicker hamper. At one side you've got like plates strapped into the side, is nice and inside is obligatory jam that the ants will go away with. You know in this cartoon style. Yeah. That's a picnic hamper is.

Dalmar: So, no socks, no underwear, no dirty undergarments. Okay.

Ben: It has explained why my excitement for picnic hampers has been not really met with seeing Julie over here.

{00:01:27.75}

Dalmar: And so the difference here in what we call the things we put our snacks in to take to the park and the things we put our undergarments in just before washing them arises because the two of you have different backgrounds and you grew up in different places. Where did you first meet?

Ben: We met in London.

Aditi: Is that where the love story began?

Erin: Yup. We met at a pub on Halloween. But it's better than it sounds. It was a couple of good friends. So my friend Madeline and Ben's friend, Ann, were both deejays. And when put on really cool Halloween parties. So they had this whole pub invited all their friends and Madeleine and by me and invited Ben and we kind of sideshow other across a crowded room.

Ben: Everything slowed down in the little spotlight on Erin as she walked in.

Dalmar: What was Erin dressed as?

Erin: Oh, why does everyone ask?

Dalmar: Ok, what was Ben dressed as?

Erin: He was dressed as Alex from the Clockwork Orange and he even had milk, he was drinking

Dalmar: And that caught your eye in a good way?

Erin: Not the milk.

Dalmar: And where did it go from there?

Erin: We just talked a lot that night. And then I made in hindsight a very stupid decision to go see him in Bristol. Yeah. But I mean he was a friend of you know a lot of my friends so I felt comfortable doing that. So I went and we kind of had our first date outside of the pub in his hometown of Bristol. I wore a coat that was soiled and asked him to wash. I was not sure if it was kebab or barf on my coat.

Ben: Just so you know, I’m not really sure if this is kebab or barf. Could you wash it for me?

Dalmar: And you did?

Ben: Yeah.

Dalmar: Is that the moment you knew that this was more than just one day kebab slash barf?

Erin: I charmed him.

Ben: You did.

{00:03:25.15}

Aditi: How has life changed since then?

Ben: Little up still washing a lot of kebab or barf. Luckily, it's mostly baby barf rather than Erin barf.

Dalmar:That's right. You have a newborn. Your first kid, who is sleeping a few rooms over. So, there's kebab, there's bar for their Halloween outfits. At what point did either of you know that this was more than just a casual relationship?

Ben: Soon. I really move like really fast. Like I was living in Bristol and it was in London and that's like over 100 miles away and just the American people … It doesn't sound very far but in England everything's really slow and congested.

Ben: So it's quite hard to get to see each other. Yeah because you couldn't go through London traffic which is pretty bad.

Erin: Not to mention the cost of coming in and out of the city.

Dalmar: And so you're going back and forth it becomes evident to the both of you pretty early on that there's something here. At what point do you start to talk about money or finances? What stage in your young relationship at the time do these sorts of themes start to come up for either of you.

{00:04:48.77}

Aditi: Yeah. Because it sounds like you were living apart and you were living far away and the costs traveling back and forth between cities. What was that like?

Erin: I think it was pretty rough travelling back and forth but it was so early it was also kind of expected. I remember having some pretty intense conversations early on because we didn't get serious so quickly and because we were far apart. It put more pressure to kind of commit so that we could live together. And I remember being really nervous before some of them but being like, okay, I need to come clean about everything if that makes sense. Like just really like be very transparent.

Dalmar: And what did you feel like you needed to be transparent about when you say coming clean? What kinds of conversations were you having and where did that take you ?

Erin: It was about everything. So everything from what my goals were. You know one of them being to eventually move back to the US, to things like money and practical things about how much I had a bit, debts and anything that Ben would need to know about eventually in order to feel like, okay, our relationship is totally transparent and fair.

{00:05:57.57}

Aditi: Ben did you feel similarly or did you have a very different experience?

Ben: My life motto from a very early age was just, just tell the truth. I think I'm fundamentally quite lazy and lying is a lot of effort. So, if you know if you are spinning a yarn you've got to remember that yarn and next time someone asks you about it, you remember the detail. If you’re just truthful from the outset, you'd never have any of these issues. So because of my laziness I'm very honest and yeah. So I would have told Erin anything she asked me.

Erin: and I like that.Yeah, I mean we can turn that into a T-shirt. “I'm too lazy to be a liar”.

Dalmar: I think that's a great T-shirt. So, that's one place that it starts for you. One thing that we've noticed talking with other folks and even looking at the surveys that others run when they ask couples when do you start talking about money. It's really quite rare to start that conversation as early as the two of you did. You said that it was important for you to be transparent. Where did that come from particularly about money?

{00:07:01.08}

Erin: When I met Ben I really liked him and it was really important for me to invest in that love that I felt and the potential that was there. And I thought that the transparency and honesty was the most important way to do that. So even though sometimes it was kind of hard or embarrassing or painful I thought that was the most important investment I could make in our relationship.

{00:07:29.85}

Aditi: Where did you model that perspective from. Like was there something in your childhood or something that you saw you know in other relationships around you that that made you even want to be that way?

Erin: Yeah. I guess it was partly from my parent’s relationship and then I think what influenced me was traveling around quite a lot while younger not as much as you guys. But I did live in Japan in high school and kind of became acquainted with Buddhism and that sort of concept of you know trusting in the universe and wanting it to take you where is right for you and kind of letting go in that sense. I mean I don't know if this sounds really cheesy because I've had a little bit of whiskey but that was part of it just being like I want this to be really natural and not have to hide anything and like Ben says I have to keep up any lies or put any effort into that be able to focus entirely on the relationship and what it means rather than other crap.

Aditi: Do you guys move in together early on in your relationship and you're living in a shared house with other roommates and you're sharing a room with these other roommates. How did all that work? I'm curious.

Ben: I think that was the sort of the start of a real cost sharing because we were sharing a room and there was two of the housemates and they had a room for themselves but we had the biggest. We were on the floor to ourselves and the loft.

Erin: Which I won by drawing straws.

Dalmar: Very nice.

Ben: And then we tried to sit down and say, well splitting this four ways, the rent four ways equally is not fair because we've only got one room. But the larger room I remember reading the load the calculations we did square footage calculations. Like, bills should be shared between four of us but then it was it was all about with square footage I remember being like a…..

Aditi: Is that what you settled on square footage?

Erin: Yeah yeah.

Ben: I think the other two were kind of grudgingly accepted.

Erin: I was embarrassingly aggressive about this. I remember that. The market value of this room is not x, it’s y. And now in hindsight I probably would have been a little bit more giving.

Dalmar: Well I guess money was way more tight than it is now.

{00:09:49.47}

Aditi: Yeah. So, it sounds like you were having this conversation with your roommates. How about between the two of you? How did that go? How did you get to figure out how to split the bills?

Erin: I think we always from a starting point of “We are a team” and what we have is disposable income or discretionary income should be fair and shared. So like we each get the same amount of discretionary income. And whoever is making more kind of covers more of the bills to make that happen. But then conversely like whoever happens to have more quote unquote wealth in terms of time may help out more around the house or with chores that need to happen. So it's trying to split in a way where we both have the same amount of disposable income but also like same amount of time because money is not everything right. You can one share that load in both senses equally.

Dalmar: Did you come to that by trial and error?

Ben: No. I think. I have to give Erin credit for coming up with that. It seems like obvious in hindsight but it probably was one of her clever scheme should we say that we ended up with that one. You were definitely the driving force behind all the mathematics behind it.

Aditi: The CFO in the relationship.

Erin: And maybe the catalyst for it was because we wanted to start saving for a house. So we were like, oh okay, we need to go through how much do we earn, what our budget is or what our expenses. That process of thinking to ourselves: we have this goal of X per month savings. How do we make that happen? That then drove the rest of the conversation.

Ben: Yeah we worked backwards from those goals and bills and then ended up the pot that was our discretionary fun money.

{00:11:45.02}

Aditi: Talk to us a little more about how exactly you split your finances. Do you put your incomes both into the same account and then pull out that discretionary funding? How does it work?

Ben: Yeah. Just a year or a year and a half after we moved in. We got our own place without housemates. And then I remembered we set up a joint accounts.

Aditi: So, you set up a joint account before you were married?

Erin: So in terms of our shared account we actually have a now defunct start of application that Ben kind of developed along with a good friend of his that we used to split our account into numerous, I guess you could call them sub accounts so they each sub account has a specific use. So like one of them would be Erin's discretionary income, one of them is mortgage, one of them is utility bills.

Aditi: It's almost like buckets.

Ben: It is buckets exactly, the term we used…after the child …

Erin: There’s a hole in my bucket, Dear Liza, Dear Liza.

Aditi: I know that song, we sing it all the time.

Ben: We fix the hole in the bucket with Eliza's help.

Dalmar: There is a bucket for your leather jacket.

Erin: That's my embarrassing bucket because I haven't renamed it. It's more like frivolous stuff.

Dalmar: This is quite remarkable because it seems as if you settled on a system very early and that system is, is one that you've stuck with from, from year one all the way through now. Were there any points along the way where you question dead or thought of changing things up?

{00:13:27.38}

Ben: I don't think so. I think it's been really successful from the start. It's reduced any kind of stress or any money. No I don't think we've ever really argued over spending especially because we've got our own little personal spending bucket and it allows us to have frivolities and there's no comeback because it's not like no I've just bought this new camera I'm pointing to it you can't see on the radio it's amazing 3D camera and there's no like blow about from Erin and making me feel guilty. Like why he bought a camera with two lenses that look stupid. It's because I've spent spend it with my previous bucket. And Erin knows that my money's like I've saved up but put it aside and I can do with it what I want.

Aditi: That's really funny because Dalmar buys stuff with his frivolous bucket and I still just question like those shoes, those are hobbit shoes. Why do we need those? Deep down inside, I question.

Ben: I think you know you shouldn’t buy a hobbit shoes. I think everyone should question that.

Aditi: And so, so it sounds like you guys are just used to winning right. Like you just found a model it worked. You haven't really argued about finances or about money like what are some of your best habits that made you this way. Like how do other people become you guys?

Ben: I think being like open honest from as we've already mentioned and not being afraid to trust each other. So I think that's for me that just opening up a bank account and putting a lot of money together was a very natural thing to do. It wasn't. It wasn't a point of concern to me that Erin may take my monthly wage and then run off to Ireland.

Aditi: All the things you could have done all the things you could have done.

Erin: I think so. We've been lucky in that sense and that we have similar goals financially and started out that way and I could imagine scenarios where that's not true for everyone. So I think for us that was kind of like a tailwind. But then the other thing that I kind of enjoy because I'm sort of a miser and I also think has helped us. It's like Ben and I have kind of a ritual we go through and it's really lies. That's been the catalyst for that where every couple weeks or maybe three weeks sometimes, sometimes a month, sometimes once a week we go through and allocate the money that we spent and kind of sit down and say like, okay, how are we doing on expenses and food money, how are we doing on our own discretionary money. What do we think. You know baby care is going to cost and how is that going to eat into our funds. So we have these pretty regular conversation that's helped us kind of like keep our goals aligned.

{00:16:02.12}

Aditi: To be clear I did not ask you to say that. The podcast is called The Money Date because we deeply believe that if we get the conversations about money are awesome. But I love that you actually came to that conclusion on your own.

Erin: Like I said I think some of it was just sort of luck that we happened to be on the same page but then keeping on the same page and I found this in other aspects of our relationship too. It's not just about money but just maintaining the same interests or the same goals as kind of communication and that regular communication and transparency that's been important.

{00:16:55.22}

Dalmar: There are other tools out there that one can use to keep track of one's finances and spending. Why then did you create Liza and why do the two of you continue to use it today?

Ben: When Stewart and I started to talk about this, you realize we both have the same frustration with trying to keep hold of and keep track of all our accounts. Because Erin and I had already started doing this. That's not my heavy breathing by the way.

Aditi: That’s Goose in the background, our dog. Dalmar: That’s a Goose in the background wondering where Ben and Erin’s kid is.

Erin: He doesn’t need money, all he needs is love and cookies…

Ben: From that shared paid - Stuart's married and he was budgeting. He's got four kids so his budgeting needs are slightly more advanced.

Aditi: With four kids you're really budgeting.

Ben: So yeah. We, we just started from there and we came up with this process which I will try not to go into too much but all the other apps were just interested in pie charts and graphs. When the banks tried to do this, they just do it badly and it's just a usability nightmare. So we just tried to make it as easy as possible for you to do this.

{00:18:10.13}

Aditi: Do you schedule this time together? Because you said sometimes we do it weekly and sometimes we do it every three weeks?

Erin: I usually think to myself. Oh, I really like that pair of jeans but I don't know how much discretionary money I have. And then I send Ben a message saying. ‘Hey, do you want to do Eliza tonight?’

Aditi: Wow, you just made that sound like a really sexy date night.

{00:18:35.99}

Dalmar: Is it, is it the same for you? Is it usually you Erin starting the conversations or Ben do you sometimes start them? If you do, is it because you've also seen a very handsome pair of jeans that you want to buy while since you've talked more slightly?

Ben: More sexy tech. Erin is more of a driver behind this.

Erin: I’m like 68% percent of the driver. I think Ben is pretty proactive about it but I'm a little bit more.

Aditi: Yeah. Wait, am I the driver or are you the driver?

Dalmar: I think you're definitely the driver. I think that's pretty fair to say.

Dalmar: So this is an interesting idea and for many people is a novel idea. The idea of having some kind of a fun event around your money and expenses as the both of you drive toward your goals together. What does having a money date or working we're talking together with the aid of Liza look like. What do these conversations usually go like. Is there a bottle of wine involved or is it just whiskey or lots of whiskey?

{00:19:40.10}

Erin: I mean I would say the idea is now planted to involve whiskey. But I wouldn't actually say that they're necessarily fun the way that we do that. It's usually like, okay, we're going to do this. We do it on a Saturday morning while the baby is taking his nap. The fun part is finding out how much you've saved towards your goal once you've actually tallied all the numbers and maybe this is the miser part of me. So I actually think in our process there's probably room for improvement to make it fun.

Ben: It's a chore but it's one that has really good outcomes.

Erin: I feel so satisfied at the end because you know exactly where you stand especially when you see your own bucket.

Ben: You're like I've got that much to blow on stupid things again.

Erin: Or in the case of me. The balance may be negative which does happen but then at least I know, okay, I need to chill out for a little bit and save that money back up. It's just a good feeling.

{00:20:46.06}

Aditi: And what's that goal you're saving for. What's the next goal on your hit list ? So you just bought a house and you recently had a baby. So you're just crushing it.

Erin: It makes me realize how superficial I am because I'm like “Oh my goal is a nice holiday” but actually really I think there's more we could do and think about. Like you say like the next big life thing - what would be meaningful.

Aditi: I don't know Erin. A nice holiday might be a goal I’m willing to sign up for. I'm in that band wagon.

Dalmar: Nice experiences and trips are fantastic.

Erin: So that's the reason actually bought this book ‘Epic Bike Rides of the World’ with my discretionary money and it’s to research a big bike holiday that we can take the baby on and there's one that I found in there in Ecuador that actually has trails that are big enough for a trailer. So a kid as young as 2 years old can sit in there while we go on a bike ride.

Aditi: You know I actually hand-built a bike mobile for the Goose that we called The Goose Mobile and bike him all over Denver. I'm pretty sure their Instagram videos of us on that so I completely buy into this vacation and I'm now inviting myself.

Ben: I thought we were going to get the baby to do his fair-share of the pedaling. At two, come on, if he can walk then he can do the pedaling.

Erin: Yeah, that’s a good idea.

{00:22:18.73}

Dalmar: You said that it feels like a chore to do the money date sometimes. What about it feels like a chore?

Ben: So the biggest bit is the credit card bills which is like working out what we spend what on and putting them into the buckets.

Erin: Yeah, the reconciliation of credit cards.

Dalmar: And these conversations usually happen on a Saturday. How long do they take you typically?

Ben: Pretty quick. Half an hour to an hour. We’re probably slacked off a bit. The next one might be a nasty one because it's been a while since we've had the last convo. And it was worse just after the baby was born because we have no idea what we are spending or what we had to spend money on. Like babies need what? Clothes, two weeks old.

Aditi: Put a diaper on it and call it a day.

Erin: Actually I feel like they don't need clothes until they're like 3 weeks old.

Ben: Well, we didn't dress him until he was two.

{00:23:22.11}

Dalmar: What was the most surprising baby expense that you didn't anticipate having to spend money on?

Ben: This is really naive but I didn't realize how expensive childcare was.

{RAPID FIRE SECTION}

Aditi: Okay so let's switch gears a little bit. We're gonna switch it up and play a sort of variation of the Honeymoon Game. You guys know what that game is? You ever played it? Well, here we go. So our version of the Honeymoon Game involves asking you five questions which we asked you to write down answers for before we sat down and started recording this list and we're now going to ask you guys to actually share the answers to those questions for everyone listening and for our own benefit. So first question, if your partner won the lottery (let's say just to be clear more than a million dollars), what would be the first thing they spent their winnings on?

Erin: This is post tax?

Aditi: Haha, I appreciate that clarification.

Erin: So I think I put down three things for Ben. So I think the first thing you would do and we're assuming we've paid off our mortgage because if not, it would be the mortgage. And I think he'd make some stock market investments and index funds and then he would set aside like probably a pretty hefty chunk of that towards an awesome holiday. And by awesome, I mean space. And the third thing is I think he would set aside enough money to fund the baby’s care or schooling.

Aditi: What do you think Ben?

Ben: I would definitely say yes to the space program because I’m utterly selfish and dedicated to launching myself into space. Yeah, I’d do baby care. I didn't actually think about stock market.

Erin: You'd have some money left over.

Aditi: She made you sound really responsible.

Ben: Yeah I'd like to picture myself in that light but the inner voice in my head is just laughing at me saying “You’re not like that!”

{00:25:21.52}

Dalmar: What would Erin spend the money on?

Ben: I have to say this correctly. She would probably spend some of it on ani-nals.

Aditi: On what?

Ben: Animals as I like to call them. Erin has like a massive warm fuzzy heart and she's been researching where to go to visit local farms to go and pet animals. Because we’ve got a young kid who will probably love doing that but last time we went I was left holding the baby whilst Erin ran off to hug the baby goats. We looked for her like “Where’s Erin” and then we had this like giggling excited noise and goof around the corner hugging goats. So at the moment she's like probably using the baby as cover for hugging cute animals but like with money she'd probably use it to like either help struggling farm or something that just you know give more people a chance to hug cute animals.

Aditi: I love it.

Dalmar: That's amazing.

Ben: I also wrote down the baby’s security and provide for its future.

{00:26:53.71}

Dalmar: All right, the second question is what's one purchase that your partner has made in the last year that you're still trying to understand. Why don't we start with you this time Ben.

Ben: The amount of clothes that are purchased. Obviously, as Erin’s gone through pregnancy, she’s gone through five clothing sizes but then still just the amount of clothes that she has totally gets me.

{00:27:23.67}

Aditi: How about you Erin?

Erin: So to be totally transparent I couldn't think of anything. But in the interest of humor I put potato ricer. What is that and why do we need it ?

Dalmar: Ben, over to you.

Aditi: Ben, what is a potato ricer? And why do you need it?

Ben: It is simply the best way to have mashed potato. Ultimately to have the best creamy mash ever. That's an important thing. If you get good good sausages, nothing will ruin sausage much more than lumpy potatoes.
Aditi: And, was this a shared or discretionary expense?

Ben and Erin speaking together: It was a shared expense. Oh. He made my clothes or discretion. They're coming out of the Erin bucket.

Dalmar: This is you bringing a bit of home with you then to San Francisco.

Erin: I don't think other British people use this.

Aditi: We'll need to validate that.

{00:28:34.65}

Aditi: Question number 3. Complete the following sentence, when it comes to money one thing we cannot agree on is ___. Go for it Ben.

Ben: The blank would be what to do with inheritances.

Aditi: Tell us more.

Erin: I thought we agreed.

Ben: So as in our parents. So my, my view is I don't want my parents to die. Obviously they would at some point but I don't want them to die and leave me money. I want them to have blown the freaking lot and maybe be in debt or like borrowing money off me. Because there's no point like living life to the full if you're saving a massive pot to give to your kid at the end of it. Just blow it, have fun with it.

Aditi: And that's your personal plan too?

Ben: Absolutely. When I die, I plan to leave an ashtray at the end that says something like “sorry baby”.

Aditi: Is that your plan too, Erin?

Erin: No. It's to squirrel away as much as I possibly can and leave it all to the baby.

Aditi: This is going to be a hell of an inheritance - an ashtray and a lot of money.

Erin: Yeah but the bonus is that we've agreed that our inheritances from our parents are kept separate so therefore I will just pass mine to the baby. And the reasoning behind this is because they feel like the social divide is just widening and the middle classes is disappearing so I'm worried about that and want to make sure the baby has a safety net.

{00:30:04.43}

Aditi: Erin what did you say?

Erin: So I said that we have a hard time agreeing on our level of concern around the cost and raising a baby because I am less concerned than Ben. We agree on the cost but the level of concern is different.

Aditi: Do you feel like like you’ll figure it out?

Erin: That's how I am. I just figured you know.There's been a billion people who've done this. We’ll find some way to make it work. So I just don't worry about it and we’ll cross that bridge when we get to.

Aditi: And how do you approach it Ben?

Ben: So I approach it by worrying about it and trying to see whether the baby’s good looking enough to maybe become a baby model...

Dalmar and Aditi speaking together at the same time: Hey, we tried that with Goose.

Aditi: We met a guy in Brooklyn who was paying his entire mortgage off of his dog who is featured in all the Kate Spade ads. So we thought ok, we could do this. So it's a completely viable approach.

Erin: Yeah, the baby’s big blue eyes and rosy cheeks. From a rash.

Ben: If anyone is looking for a cute baby, just e-mail cutebaby@erin.com.

Aditi: ...located in San Francisco, willing to fly.

Ben: We'll post them anywhere. Yeah Erin works for a logistics company so we can pretty much package him to go anywhere.

{00:31:43.61}

Dalmar: What money question do you think is important to ask your partner when things start to get serious. Let's start with your Erin.

Erin: I think the most important money question is around their debts and assets. So just to understand where they stand financially is my starting point. There are of course many follow on questions but that would be my starting point.

Dalmar: If Ben’s listed potato ricer as one of his assets what would be a follow on question.

Erin: The follow up question would be like: What is this? I don't understand.

Aditi: Can you really call it an asset?

Erin: Or is this actually just a liability.

{00:32:25.88}

Dalmar: Ben what did you what did you say?

Group speaking together all at the same time: I'd just like to say next time you're over, I'm going to make you a mash in defense of the potato ricer.

Dalmar: If it makes an excellent mash yeah I'll be over it.

Ben: Yes. I think being honest re: when we first met, I never asked any of these questions. But I do remember asking slightly tongue in cheek when Erin will earn enough for me to become a kept man or become a high school {inaudible}. That was one of our serious plans (Erin: it was?)

Erin: I remember talking about it but I don’t remember it being a serious question!

Ben: Well I thought I was serious. I thought I was going to become a house husband, bake bread every day, cook food, and look after the screaming child. I mean it was something I considered because I think at the time Erin was earning a lot more than me. And we naively thought me coming here would be hard for me to earn money because of my age. But we live in San Francisco and I'm a developer. So in the chace where one of us had to stay home, it would have been me. But we didn't factor in the ridiculous cost of living in San Francisco and the ridiculous cost of everything in San Francisco to be fair. So that was never an option. We'd have to go and live in Nebraska then it would work.

{00:34:02.11}

Aditi: Last and final question. What's your spending number. What's the number that you guys check in with each other on before you spend from your shared finances?

Erin: I would say $90. However, I would like to caveat that that it depends on the commodity. So if it's something that I know it's needed (for example our AAA membership or a car tune up, I’d probably go up to like $500. If it's something that is discretionary like a grocery bill or something that is shared but it's kind of discretionary then it's $90 for me.

{00:34:43.11}

Aditi: How about you Ben?

Ben: Yeah between $50 and $100 because we're very similar. It was depending on what type of stuff I was buying. So maybe in the future if I was, say, buying a potato ricer, if mine for some reason met an unfortunate accident. Then I would maybe double check before buying the next one.

Aditi: It's so funny. Dalmar and I did this exact same exercise and his answer was $20 and mine was $250. So clearly we’re on the same page.

So I just wanted to say thank you guys. Talking about money and especially talking about it on a podcast when you know millions of people listening can be a scary thing and the fact that you guys are game to do it or game to laugh about it and are game to share as much as you're willing to share about it I think is a pretty awesome thing. So thank you for being our first guests and doing this on a rainy day.

Dalmar: The inaugural show and in along the way you've introduced America too to another definition of hamper and potato ricers.

Group speaking all at the same time: Can I add one? So Ben always laughs at me for saying bathing suit.

Aditi: What - it is bathing suit.

Erin: You know what they say in the UK? Swimming what? They call it a swimming costume. And he laughs at me!

Aditi: That's true. I did grow up calling it a swimming costume.

Ben: Costume evokes the idea of you already looking stupid. But bathing suit makes it seem like it's a smart thing.
Aditi: And on that note, thank you for listening to this episode of the Money Date.

Dalmar : Join us next week. Bye.

{END}

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