I loaned my partner money and then we broke up

June 4th, 2020

This story was submitted as part of our #modernfamily series. Follow along as couples share the good, bad and ugly on navigating love and money together.

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I was so much in love. I just assumed we'd be together forever so it never crossed my mind that lending him money might become an issue later on. Things had gotten difficult in our relationship - we were fighting more, not seeing eye-to-eye. And then one day, we hit a low and had an explosive argument. I asked him if he still loved me. He said he didn't. In minutes, our relationship unfolded. We'd been together for 4 years and it was all over in 4 minutes.

I'd loaned him a pretty large amount of money; money I'd assumed would not be a big deal because we'd eventually get married. But when we split up, I wanted that money back. It was horrible - I needed the money but I also knew he didn't have any to give back. At the same time I felt so betrayed and didn't want to forgive the debt. We ended up agreeing to a loan which got so messy as time went on. We even agreed that he'd pay a "late fee" if he didn't follow through.

He sent me money every month for four years. One day, he texted and asked if he'd repaid in full. He hadn't but I wanted closure so badly, I decided to let it go. It was an important lesson for me - I've been much more careful about lending money to friends or family since.

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