Ask Zeta: "Should we hold off on getting married until we pay off our debt?"

Aditi Shekar
January 25th, 2021 | 3min

Got a tough love and money question? Email us at

"My partner refuses to get engaged until we both pay off our credit cards and student loan debt."

So you might not like my answer, but I kinda love your partner. To be fair, I'm wildly goal-oriented, so the idea of having a shared goal we have to hit together to reach a milestone is like music to my ears. That said, trying to do both credit cards bills and student loans might be a while.

Before you approach your partner about this (and approach you should), I'd ask yourself what bugs you about this perspective? Is the goal not as important to you? Does it feel unattainable? Are you mad because there's an ultimatum being thrown in there? Unpacking your feelings before you try to have a conversation about it will serve you well in your money journey together.

And once you understand where you're stuck, ask your partner to sit down and take some time to understand each of your points of view.(Check out our 20 Questions as a good conversation kick-off). Who knows, you might learn something new about each other or at the very least, find a way to build the most important financial skill of all, communication.

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