Dual Income, One Household: How to Make Love and Money Work

Adam Putterman
February 26th, 2021 | 5 min
Image by AliceBC0 for Pixabay
Advertising Disclosure

American households no longer single-income endeavors. A Pew survey found that in nearly half of all American households, both parents work and bring in two incomes. That doesn’t mean that couples and families have it all figured out. A quick glance around Reddit and Quora shows that this shift has led to plenty of questions and challenges around how working couples split paychecks and combine finances.

For many, there’s no model on how to make it work. Many couples grew up in a household with only one working parent. This means that the examples they may have seen for how a relationship grows and changes and thrives over time don’t necessarily apply to them. We often learn best by imitation and it can be particularly hard for couples to chart new paths and deal with challenges they’ve never experienced.

The first and most important step in preventing or fixing a problem is to understand it. So let’s dig into some of the unique questions and challenges that dual-career couples may face.

Whose career comes first?

Careers are ever-changing and opportunities will come and go. When you’re both working, there may come a time when what’s best for one of your careers will actively harm the other's. Maybe it’s moving to a new city or it’s investing time and money into learning a new skill–many couples struggle to find an answer that feels right and fair. Further, it can be particularly tough to avoid feelings of resentment or power imbalances as income, ambition, and success fluctuate.

How do we find time together?

Whether you have different work schedules or are simply exhausted after a long day, when both couples work it can be even harder to make time for "us". Dedicated time together is a key foundation of any healthy relationship and many dual-income couples can struggle to find the energy and ability to protect that special time together. This can be particularly hard when one person is prioritizing their career or faces a sudden schedule change at work.

How do we split household work and decide what to outsource?

Maintaining a home and a life outside of work is never ending. There are chores around the house, taking care of your health, groceries, taxes... the list is endless. All of this still needs to get done regardless of whether you’re both working. It’s often difficult to decide who does what and where you’ll be comfortable paying for help. This can be particularly tough when one person ends up taking on more work and feels resentful of their partner.

Who takes care of the kids?

Not every couple wants kids, but, when they do, figuring out childcare with two working parents can be very difficult. Particularly early on, many couples struggle with having one partner stay at home and take on most of the housework. There’s no right answer and it can be particularly tough when you layer on recent career changes, self-employment or freelance struggles, income inequality and different upbringings).

Although the rise of dual-working couples can cause challenges, it also comes with clear benefits like higher income (obviously) and healthy independence and autonomy for both partners. More importantly, many of these challenges can be addressed proactively.

Tools and tips to navigate these issues

Some researchers have found that dual-career couples do better when they explicitly acknowledge these challenges and build informal "contracts" around their changing lives together.

Jennifer Petriglieri, associate professor at INSEAD and the author of Couples That Work: How Dual-Career Couples Can Thrive in Love and Work told The Atlantic that “it starts at home, with both partners making commitments and a plan to challenge society’s endless pulls. Couples need to develop the habit of having conversations about what really matters to them and how they support each other’s ambitions. It’s a hard battle, requiring honesty and stamina to triumph, but it is a worthy one to fight for a happy work and family life.”

Many couples can also benefit from more intentional financial planning. Tools like Zeta can be particularly helpful for dual-career couples to better understand and plan for their future. Having data, history, and goals for your future make questions around outsourcing and changing careers much more tangible.

Just like couples may go to an expert for financial planning, many couples seek an expert for relationship support. Whether it’s virtual couples therapy, a relationship coach, or a great book, there’s always something to be found in learning from others.

In particular, many therapists recommend addressing these challenges as early as possible. One of the highest predictors of success in couples therapy is how long the couple waits before getting help - the shorter the better.

Did you enjoy this article?

To safely consume this site, we recommend reading this disclaimer. Any outbound links will take you away from Zeta, to external sites in the world wide web. Just so you know, Zeta doesn’t endorse any linked websites nor do we pay/bribe anyone to appear on here. Any reference to prices on the site are just estimates; actual prices are up to specific merchants and their current desire to charge you for things. Also, nothing on this website should be construed as investment advice. We’re here to share our favorite tools, tactics and tips for managing your money together. This content is for your responsible consumption. Please don’t see this as a recommendation to buy specific investments or go on a crypto-binge. Lastly, we 100% believe that personal finance is exactly that, personal. We may sometimes publish content on this website that has been created by affiliated or unaffiliated partners such as employees, advisors or writers. Unless we explicitly say so, these post do not necessarily represent the actual views or opinions of Zeta.

By using this website, you understand the content presented is provided for informational purposes only and agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

1Zeta is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services provided by Piermont Bank; Member FDIC. All deposit accounts of the same ownership and/or vesting held at the issuing bank are combined and insured under an FDIC Certificate of $250,000 per depositor. The Zeta Mastercard® Debit Card is issued by Piermont Bank, Member FDIC, pursuant to license by Mastercard International Incorporated and can be used everywhere Mastercard is accepted.

2Zeta Annual Percentage Yield (APY) is effective as of 05/01/2023, for customers who qualify for VIP status. Minimum amount to open an account is $0.00. Minimum balance to earn the APY is $0.01. Interest rates are as follows: 2.20% APY applies to the entire balance for customers who qualify for VIP status. Interest rates may change after the account is opened. Fees may reduce earnings.