Ask Zeta: "Should we hold off on getting married until we pay off our debt?"

Aditi Shekar
January 25th, 2021 | 3min

Got a tough love and money question? Email us at

"My partner refuses to get engaged until we both pay off our credit cards and student loan debt."

So you might not like my answer, but I kinda love your partner. To be fair, I'm wildly goal-oriented, so the idea of having a shared goal we have to hit together to reach a milestone is like music to my ears. That said, trying to do both credit cards bills and student loans might be a while.

Before you approach your partner about this (and approach you should), I'd ask yourself what bugs you about this perspective? Is the goal not as important to you? Does it feel unattainable? Are you mad because there's an ultimatum being thrown in there? Unpacking your feelings before you try to have a conversation about it will serve you well in your money journey together.

And once you understand where you're stuck, ask your partner to sit down and take some time to understand each of your points of view.(Check out our 20 Questions as a good conversation kick-off). Who knows, you might learn something new about each other or at the very least, find a way to build the most important financial skill of all, communication.

Did you enjoy this article?

To safely consume this site, we recommend reading this disclaimer. Any outbound links will take you away from Zeta, to external sites in the world wide web. Just so you know, Zeta doesn’t endorse any linked websites nor do we pay/bribe anyone to appear on here. Any reference to prices on the site are just estimates; actual prices are up to specific merchants and their current desire to charge you for things. Also, nothing on this website should be construed as investment advice. We’re here to share our favorite tools, tactics and tips for managing your money together. This content is for your responsible consumption. Please don’t see this as a recommendation to buy specific investments or go on a crypto-binge. Lastly, we 100% believe that personal finance is exactly that, personal. We may sometimes publish content on this website that has been created by affiliated or unaffiliated partners such as employees, advisors or writers. Unless we explicitly say so, these post do not necessarily represent the actual views or opinions of Zeta.

By using this website, you understand the content presented is provided for informational purposes only and agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

The Zeta Joint Card and Joint Account is offered by LendingClub Bank, N.A., or Piermont Bank, Members FDIC. Zeta Help Inc. is a service provider of the issuing bank. All deposit accounts of the same ownership and/or vesting held at the issuing bank are combined and insured under an FDIC Certificate, up to $500,000. The Zeta Joint Debit Card, provided by MasterCard, may be used everywhere where MasterCard Debit Cards are accepted.